I work in an administrative office building and everyday I try to hurry to my office on the third deck (floor, for you land lovers) and get to my cubicle as quick as possible to avoid the dreaded question. I am laughing at the word hurry in my first sentence, because with my daily aches and pains I go about as fast as the turtle that raced the hare and we all know eventually that slow turtle won the race. Now, I know the question is routine, what else do you say to someone in passing when there is really nothing else to talk about, you say..."Good Morning/Afternoon, followed by "How are you?" So, these co-workers are just following routine...my response is simple. First, with the exception of a few people I have no choice but to see on a daily basis, I try to avoid as much human contact as possible throughout the day. I hurry to the restroom as fast as possible, hoping to get into a stall to do my business before anyone can say anything and if someone comes in while I'm there, I time my finish to miss them as they go into a stall or wait til they get out. Hummm, I was just thinking, sometimes, I wonder if they are doing the same thing, because it can become quite a wait game! If I'm in the elevator and they are not within 10 steps of the door, I pretend I don't see them and quickly press the button to get away. The whole time thinking I survived not having to answer the question. Second, I'm, in my own world and I quickly scurry by a person or persons having a conversation and just do not acknowledge a living presence around me. I also avoid as many meetings as possible and if I do get stuck in one, I hang out towards the back in case I begin having one of my weird anxiety attacks about being around a crowd of people. This second method is usually because I am having a bad morning/day and don't feel like looking at someone, much less talking to them. Third, when I can't get out of it, I just reply, "It's Monday, or Tuesday, or whatever day of the week it is." People seem satisfied with the answer and come up with clever replies like, "Yep, over the hump day." or my favorite, "at least we are one day closer to Friday." I know people are not targeting me on purpose, but my answer to that question can change within, minutes, hours or daily. When I'm truthful about how I really feel, it tends to lead into the next question, "What's wrong? and I just get tired of "It" and unless a person is educated on my disease or the person is one of the select few that really knows how I am actually doing, the conversation becomes to long and I just don't want to talk about "It." Nothing against the person. All my days are not bad, some days I can answer with a cheery, "Alright, and you? These days are less than often, but I do have a few and one day at a time, as slow as it may be, I know with prayer and patience I will win my race.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The Dreaded "How are you?"
I work in an administrative office building and everyday I try to hurry to my office on the third deck (floor, for you land lovers) and get to my cubicle as quick as possible to avoid the dreaded question. I am laughing at the word hurry in my first sentence, because with my daily aches and pains I go about as fast as the turtle that raced the hare and we all know eventually that slow turtle won the race. Now, I know the question is routine, what else do you say to someone in passing when there is really nothing else to talk about, you say..."Good Morning/Afternoon, followed by "How are you?" So, these co-workers are just following routine...my response is simple. First, with the exception of a few people I have no choice but to see on a daily basis, I try to avoid as much human contact as possible throughout the day. I hurry to the restroom as fast as possible, hoping to get into a stall to do my business before anyone can say anything and if someone comes in while I'm there, I time my finish to miss them as they go into a stall or wait til they get out. Hummm, I was just thinking, sometimes, I wonder if they are doing the same thing, because it can become quite a wait game! If I'm in the elevator and they are not within 10 steps of the door, I pretend I don't see them and quickly press the button to get away. The whole time thinking I survived not having to answer the question. Second, I'm, in my own world and I quickly scurry by a person or persons having a conversation and just do not acknowledge a living presence around me. I also avoid as many meetings as possible and if I do get stuck in one, I hang out towards the back in case I begin having one of my weird anxiety attacks about being around a crowd of people. This second method is usually because I am having a bad morning/day and don't feel like looking at someone, much less talking to them. Third, when I can't get out of it, I just reply, "It's Monday, or Tuesday, or whatever day of the week it is." People seem satisfied with the answer and come up with clever replies like, "Yep, over the hump day." or my favorite, "at least we are one day closer to Friday." I know people are not targeting me on purpose, but my answer to that question can change within, minutes, hours or daily. When I'm truthful about how I really feel, it tends to lead into the next question, "What's wrong? and I just get tired of "It" and unless a person is educated on my disease or the person is one of the select few that really knows how I am actually doing, the conversation becomes to long and I just don't want to talk about "It." Nothing against the person. All my days are not bad, some days I can answer with a cheery, "Alright, and you? These days are less than often, but I do have a few and one day at a time, as slow as it may be, I know with prayer and patience I will win my race.
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I know what it is like, trying to avoid human contact so I don't have to divulge into the details of my life. Living with a disease like arthritis can be a roller coaster ride sometimes, and you don't always want everyone around you to know what you are going through. You just have to keep doing what's best for you.
ReplyDeleteexactly how I feel. I have had PsA for ten years and now the doc thinks I may have develloped Fibro. Joy oh joy. I am a teacher so I have to deal with people regardless of if I want to or not. By the end of the day I am exhausted and way overloaded. Been in an almost continous flare for two months and just want to hide from the world. I don't want to hear, "Well, you looked great yesterday!". or "I know how you feel. I have arthritis in my knee". Not the same, dude.
ReplyDeleteAs a sign of gratitude for how my son was saved from fibromyalgia , i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
ReplyDeleteMy son suffered fibromyalgia in the year 2013 and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, he always complain of joint stiffness, and he always have difficulty falling asleep . we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony by someone who was cured and so many other with similar body problem, and he left the contact of the doctor who had the cure to fibromyalgia . I never imagined fibromyalgia has a natural cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my son will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my son used it and in one months time he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life. fibromyalgia has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098765@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my story
It is no secret that I have a very deep and personal relationship with God. I have pushed and resisted that relationship this past year through all the bullshit I have had to go through living with Herpes but once again, God is bigger than my stubbornness and broke through that outbreak cold sore and all I had Genital Herpes. For me personally, hearing over and over how I am not good enough has really invaded my mind in the worst way possible. I completely shut down and I was just waking up like is this how life going to end this temporary herpes outbreak “fuck everybody with herpes if you know what I mean” but let's be honest here...It is a cowardly to say no to herbal medicine. It is fear based. And it is dishonest to what my heart wants. Don't build a wall around yourself because you are afraid of herbals made or taking a bold step especially when it's come to health issues and getting cure. So many young men/ women tell me over and over that Dr Itua is going to scam me but I give him a try to today I feel like no one will ever convince me about herbal medicine I accept Dr Itua herbal medicine because it's cure my herpes just two weeks of drinking it and i have been living for a year and months now I experience outbreak no more, You can contact him if you need his herbal medicine for any such diseases like,HIV,Epilepsy Infertility, Herpes, Hepatitis, Schizophrenia,Cancer,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic,Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Prostate Cancer,Blood Cancer,Lung Cancer,Brain Cancer,Colo-Rectal Cancer,Love Spell,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy,Hpv,Weak Erection,Wart Remover. Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.
ReplyDeleteDementia.measles, tetanus, whooping cough, tuberculosis, polio and diphtheria,Allergic, Love Spell,. Email..drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com/ info@drituaherbalcenter.com. then what's app.+2348149277967.... My advice to any sick men/women out there is simple... Be Always an open book. Be gut wrenching honest about yourself, your situation, and what you are all about. Don't hold anything back. Holding back will get you nowhere...maybe a one way ticket to lonelyville and that is NOT somewhere you want to be. So my final truth...and I'm just starting to grasp this one..