So much for feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed today....when I got out of bed this morning I felt like 
I had been hit by a Mack Truck. I knew right away I was not going to have a good day. I followed my Doc's instructions last night and did not take my usual tramadol before bed, I truly believe I paid for it. Needless to say, I followed my usual morning routine, limp, plop and hobble, only this morning it was awful. My kids noticed right away I was feeling pretty bad. I still pushed on, because life doesn't stop around my pain and with my Husband on deployment, I have to take care of our four children. This morning I also was scheduled to go to one of our weekly Physical Training Sessions. (I hate these on mornings like today.) I went anyway, aching all the way and aching right through 40 minutes on the elliptical. I had a private self pity moment afterwards and let out some tears...I am just so tired of the aches and pains, so tired of them. Around 1000 this morning, I broke down and took a tramadol, it took several hours to feel it help with the pain, I also took another one about an hour ago. I wake up throughout the night (insomnia), but I do not want to wake up with the pains I had last night. I don't talk to many people about how I feel, because unless they really are educated about "It", I feel they don't understand because they can't see it. (from the inside out) As much as I hate this chronic illness, I reflect on the things I am thankful for. I may not be able to do as much with my family as I want to, but it feels good to still be able to run my fingers through my 3yr old daughters hair when she gently cuddles next to me, she is careful because she knows Mommy hurts a lot. I am thankful to be able to sit on the bed and play footsie with my 5yr old when she gets out of the bath. I am thankful I can sit next to my 11yr old daughter and kiss her on the forehead when I tuck her in at night. To feel her hand on my cheek when she asks if I'm alright. I am thankful I can feel my 12yr old son put his arms around me when he tells me he loves me, to get some rest and he hopes I feel better. I am thankful I have a wonderful supportive Husband and even though we are apart right now, his soul is hand in hand with mine. I am thankful I can get up in the mornings, even with my limp and all my aches and pains. I know it could be worse, there are others out there with many more life struggles and when I ask God to give me the strength to make it through another day, I also ask him to help those others find strength to cope with their journeys as well.
I had been hit by a Mack Truck. I knew right away I was not going to have a good day. I followed my Doc's instructions last night and did not take my usual tramadol before bed, I truly believe I paid for it. Needless to say, I followed my usual morning routine, limp, plop and hobble, only this morning it was awful. My kids noticed right away I was feeling pretty bad. I still pushed on, because life doesn't stop around my pain and with my Husband on deployment, I have to take care of our four children. This morning I also was scheduled to go to one of our weekly Physical Training Sessions. (I hate these on mornings like today.) I went anyway, aching all the way and aching right through 40 minutes on the elliptical. I had a private self pity moment afterwards and let out some tears...I am just so tired of the aches and pains, so tired of them. Around 1000 this morning, I broke down and took a tramadol, it took several hours to feel it help with the pain, I also took another one about an hour ago. I wake up throughout the night (insomnia), but I do not want to wake up with the pains I had last night. I don't talk to many people about how I feel, because unless they really are educated about "It", I feel they don't understand because they can't see it. (from the inside out) As much as I hate this chronic illness, I reflect on the things I am thankful for. I may not be able to do as much with my family as I want to, but it feels good to still be able to run my fingers through my 3yr old daughters hair when she gently cuddles next to me, she is careful because she knows Mommy hurts a lot. I am thankful to be able to sit on the bed and play footsie with my 5yr old when she gets out of the bath. I am thankful I can sit next to my 11yr old daughter and kiss her on the forehead when I tuck her in at night. To feel her hand on my cheek when she asks if I'm alright. I am thankful I can feel my 12yr old son put his arms around me when he tells me he loves me, to get some rest and he hopes I feel better. I am thankful I have a wonderful supportive Husband and even though we are apart right now, his soul is hand in hand with mine. I am thankful I can get up in the mornings, even with my limp and all my aches and pains. I know it could be worse, there are others out there with many more life struggles and when I ask God to give me the strength to make it through another day, I also ask him to help those others find strength to cope with their journeys as well.
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Wow....so many similarities here. Help me in getting to know you a little better. How old are you? How long have you had PsA? And my last question for right now...why did your doc tell you not to take the Tramadol? I'm also on Tramadol, but try to only take it when I have to.
ReplyDeleteHi Dawn,
ReplyDelete36. Just recently diagnosed with PsA, but have had pain for up to three + years. My Doc wants to cut back on tramadol in order to be able to better evaluate results of the Humira, at least that is the way the nurse explained it to me. I also began taking a sleeping pill to try to help me stay asleep through the night and the effects of both medications would cause to much drowsiness. I use to take the tramadol only as needed and it ended up being 3 x a day. So, I'm going to try to cut back to 2. One mid morning and one late afternoon to see if that will still help keep the pain tolerable.
Hi, Bre - I'm trying to reply to your email but I'm unable to because I get an error message saying that I can't send digitally signed messages because I don't have the digital ID for the account (whatever that means). Do you have a regular email address that you also use? Sandra/the Undigital One :D
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